Mission trip...

I finished my application for a mission trip to go to Guatemala in June. I'm not sure what will happen. I'm a little excited and thinking what it would be like. If it happens, then I believe that God wants me to start doing this. I had an epiphany today while I was eating dinner getting ready to go to my softball game. It came across me this evening that God wanted me to have the family life and be a responsible person. Which I did. It just came to me that all those time that I regretted not having a life after college. I complained and grumbled inside about how I got stuck being a parent and becoming a responsible citizen. Today I realized that God needed for me to do those things so that I would mature. If my life had turned out like some other people, where they partied hard while in college, had a career, but then having to wait to have a family, then I wouldn't be the person that I am now. I needed this responsibility of being a good husband and a father to my children so that I would mature. I look at these people at the ball game, where they look about my age and have elementary school children or even younger and I think to myself, that I skipped all the fun and party and became a responsible adult so that I can become a better person when I get older.

It also dawned on me about all these guys even the ones I went to high school with, how athletic they were when they were younger and excelled in sports, and now, they can't even run a quarter of mile without passing out. I was never an excellent athlete when I was younger. I was always average. I couldn't even run 2 miles within the allotted time. Now at my age (39) I can run 3.1 miles within 27 minutes.

I feel like God is preparing me for something bigger. I don't know what it is yet, but I want to be equipped and ready to go when God let's me know. I've been a Christian since I was 16 and I've come a long way. My thinking about life has changed drastically. I'm still a little selfish when it comes to doing things and that's probably why God hasn't placed anyone in my life to focus on, other than my kids.

Now here I am thinking about going on a mission field. I've been doing voluntary work for the last 3 years at a local shelter home, helping to feed the homeless. I work between 4 to 5 hours cooking the meals, preparing and then serving them to at least 200 to 400 people. I didn't think that this little project will lead me to something even bigger. I'm EXCITED!

Isaiah 6:8 tells us, "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me."

Child Support Payment Modification

Today was a bitter-sweet victory for me in Chancery court. I went to court today for child support payment modification and of course the judge reduced my payments down by half due to my current financial situation. It was bitter-sweet because even though the courts ruled in my favor the ruling made my ex-wife very angry. To top it off, I got a call from my ex-in laws screaming at me, because I made their daughter feel like she's not trying to find a job. Well, I didn't do all of those things. The judge and the attorneys asked all the questions that made her uncomfortable and made her realize that she's worthless piece. Her mother finally calmed down after I explained to her what had happened in court and that I didn't do all the things she claimed I said.

The judge and the attorney repeatedly asked her why she doesn't have a regular everyday job like everyone else. She uses the excuse that our son has Asperger Syndrome and that he needs special attention. Bottom line, they imputed her with a minimum wage salary. This helps me, because at least I'm not the only one with income. Not only that, but my salary has been cut in half from 2 years ago. So far everything is going well for me.

It's all good for now, until they hire an attorney and file for another petition of modification. Hopefully I still make the same money that I make now six months or even a year from now.

I really have a bad opinion about my ex's husband. One, he doesn't work. He's a full time student. Two, he has custody of both of his children. He had his wife committed to a mental institution for bi-polar condition. Three, I believe he's instrumental in putting things into my ex's head.

It's sad that they both don't work. They have a brand new home, a fairly new Nissan Armada and a tax-free income. They receive food-stamps and because of their income status, my kids can have free lunch in school. Their whole lifestyle is fishy, but I hope God is watching and making sure that things are right. I can't get her nor my ex in-laws to understand their daughter is not as perfect as they think they she is.

Anyway, that's all I'm plugging in for today.

life is boring

Without the kids, it's pretty much a long dragged out day. I miss them. Of course the only way to get a hold of them is via facebook or text. I love technology. It allows you stay in touch with your loved ones immediately, until the battery dies. Anyway, going out for sushi tonight and just chill. I need to save up for next week when I have the kids.

That's pretty much it for this weekend. Uneventful...

It's been a while...

I'm over at a friend's house doing laundry. I hate it sometimes, but it's the only way to survive when money is low. Laundry costs $2.25 per load. So when you have 3 loads a week, that's $6.75. That's over $25 a month. Sometimes I just have to make do. But laundry has to be washed. I don't have the kids this weekend and hanging out at my friend's house helps relieve the loneliness. It's a normal household. Kids are running around the house, my friend and his wife arguing, and it's quite a normal household family. It's good to be around them sometimes. Reminds me of my previous home. Their boys are like nephews to me. So whenever they need someone to watch them, I'm always available.

Anyway, luckily I only have two loads. Doing laundry here takes longer, but my clothes are cleaner. I'm almost done and after I fold and put them up, it's bed time.

Weekend with the kids...

Slept late last night since a friend of mine wanted me to baby sit for his two boys while he was out with his wife and friends. My daughter and I didn't get to bed until 2am. They were out late. My son on the other hand, was able to get to bed early. I took him home while Hayley watched over the boys and they were asleep. Anyway, it was a great time with the kids and the boys.

Saturday afternoon and I'm here at Borders with the kids. Benji wanted to go here instead of Barnes & Noble. The Wi-Fi hotspot is getting worse at Borders. It's always slow or sometimes, you can't even connect. and I'm the only one here with a laptop.

I felt bad this morning, because I only had 2 eggs and 1 strip of bacon. My son had them since he was hungrier. I opted for cereal. Hayley had Pop Tarts. I hate not having money when the kids are around. And I'm trying to figure out what to have for lunch and dinner tonight. One more week and I get to plead to the judge why I need to have my child support payments adjusted. And I hope it does for my benefit. There's just not enough money to go around. The economy is bad and my ex gets the majority of my paycheck and I'm still in arrears.

With so many "bad" dads out there that play the system, it's hard to survive for those dads who actually care about their kids. I just went to bankruptcy court this past week and I feel a little better since I don't owe these people any more money. But the child support payments must keep going. The system is created for the benefit of the women.

I'm ok with it for now. I just hope God can help me out. I need to start saving money for my kids' college fund and my daughter is on her second year in high school. I don't have that much time.

Well, it's almost time for me to drop Hayley off to the mall so she can meet some friends. I'm glad to have baby sat for my friend last night. He gave Hayley some money for the services we all did and I made sure that Benji had some, too.

Friday night without the kids

Well it's been a good night. Had a good 2 mile run after work, followed by cereal for supper then headed out to the local Barnes & Noble book store to catch up on CBS's new series Undercover Boss. Watched some previous episodes online thanks to Barnes & Noble and AT&T free Wi-Fi hot spot. Just finished watching the White Castle episode. When you're financially strapped it's hard to find things to do. Thanks to local bookstores that stays open late, you can read any books available and even use their Wi-Fi for free. It's great to take advantage of these things, so ever so often I'd buy something to help support and maintain these free amenities. A cup of joe is my usual purchase. $1.79 seems steep for a cup of coffee, but with free internet and the wisdom you gain from reading their books, it's not a bad deal. Don't get me wrong, I sometime buy some of the books that I will need in the future to reference. It's just better to purchase them after saving up for them. There are a lot of things you can do without spending money. Sometimes it's just better to have friends around, but sometimes it's better to just be in your own private cave.

Headed home and hopefully get a good night rest and be ready to work at a local computer store part time to earn some cash. To me it's really not about the money but the knowledge I learn working on computers. I didn't realize how easy it is to disassemble a laptop. And now I find myself sometimes taking apart my laptop thinking of adding a built-in camera.

That's all for tonight.

Weekend after the kids.

Well the weekend with the kids was short-lived. It's all good. We had a great time. Borders at night then helped with Cooks for Christ on Saturday afternoon. The great thing about it is the good feeling you get for helping feed the homeless, not to mention free dinner afterwards not to mention sampling the food while you fix it.

After the kids were picked up by their mom, I headed out to the bowling alley for the Singles group night. It was ok. I scored better than anyone else. Lots of nice people but overall a good experience.

That's pretty much it. I'm still trying to increase my financial IQ. I'm reading "The Richest Man in Babylon". I'm on chapter 5 and lots of interesting information.

When you get to this point in life, it's better to be constructive than destructive.