Wow it's been a long time

It's been a week now since I got back from my mission's trip to Guatemala. My kids are home with me and I have them until July 23rd. It'll be sad to see them go and it will be difficult not to have them around on a daily basis. Life goes on, but I'll miss them dearly.

Abandoned

I think this project is pretty much abandoned. Same story different day. I'm not really sure what to put into this blog anymore...

Long time no post

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged. I don't really have much to blog. Recently, I've just signed up to go on a mission trip to Guatemala. I mailed all my sponsorship letters Friday morning and I just have to pray and have the faith that I will get the money needed to go to this mission trip. I don't really know what God's plan for me but I'm willing and ready to go whatever the Lord desires.

Lord, if you want me to go on this mission trip, you will make it possible for me to get the necessary funding for me to go. Not only the funds but for me to be ready for this trip. I'm not equipped but I know you will. I thank you for this opportunity and I pray to you in Jesus name. Amen.

Mission trip...

I finished my application for a mission trip to go to Guatemala in June. I'm not sure what will happen. I'm a little excited and thinking what it would be like. If it happens, then I believe that God wants me to start doing this. I had an epiphany today while I was eating dinner getting ready to go to my softball game. It came across me this evening that God wanted me to have the family life and be a responsible person. Which I did. It just came to me that all those time that I regretted not having a life after college. I complained and grumbled inside about how I got stuck being a parent and becoming a responsible citizen. Today I realized that God needed for me to do those things so that I would mature. If my life had turned out like some other people, where they partied hard while in college, had a career, but then having to wait to have a family, then I wouldn't be the person that I am now. I needed this responsibility of being a good husband and a father to my children so that I would mature. I look at these people at the ball game, where they look about my age and have elementary school children or even younger and I think to myself, that I skipped all the fun and party and became a responsible adult so that I can become a better person when I get older.

It also dawned on me about all these guys even the ones I went to high school with, how athletic they were when they were younger and excelled in sports, and now, they can't even run a quarter of mile without passing out. I was never an excellent athlete when I was younger. I was always average. I couldn't even run 2 miles within the allotted time. Now at my age (39) I can run 3.1 miles within 27 minutes.

I feel like God is preparing me for something bigger. I don't know what it is yet, but I want to be equipped and ready to go when God let's me know. I've been a Christian since I was 16 and I've come a long way. My thinking about life has changed drastically. I'm still a little selfish when it comes to doing things and that's probably why God hasn't placed anyone in my life to focus on, other than my kids.

Now here I am thinking about going on a mission field. I've been doing voluntary work for the last 3 years at a local shelter home, helping to feed the homeless. I work between 4 to 5 hours cooking the meals, preparing and then serving them to at least 200 to 400 people. I didn't think that this little project will lead me to something even bigger. I'm EXCITED!

Isaiah 6:8 tells us, "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me."

Child Support Payment Modification

Today was a bitter-sweet victory for me in Chancery court. I went to court today for child support payment modification and of course the judge reduced my payments down by half due to my current financial situation. It was bitter-sweet because even though the courts ruled in my favor the ruling made my ex-wife very angry. To top it off, I got a call from my ex-in laws screaming at me, because I made their daughter feel like she's not trying to find a job. Well, I didn't do all of those things. The judge and the attorneys asked all the questions that made her uncomfortable and made her realize that she's worthless piece. Her mother finally calmed down after I explained to her what had happened in court and that I didn't do all the things she claimed I said.

The judge and the attorney repeatedly asked her why she doesn't have a regular everyday job like everyone else. She uses the excuse that our son has Asperger Syndrome and that he needs special attention. Bottom line, they imputed her with a minimum wage salary. This helps me, because at least I'm not the only one with income. Not only that, but my salary has been cut in half from 2 years ago. So far everything is going well for me.

It's all good for now, until they hire an attorney and file for another petition of modification. Hopefully I still make the same money that I make now six months or even a year from now.

I really have a bad opinion about my ex's husband. One, he doesn't work. He's a full time student. Two, he has custody of both of his children. He had his wife committed to a mental institution for bi-polar condition. Three, I believe he's instrumental in putting things into my ex's head.

It's sad that they both don't work. They have a brand new home, a fairly new Nissan Armada and a tax-free income. They receive food-stamps and because of their income status, my kids can have free lunch in school. Their whole lifestyle is fishy, but I hope God is watching and making sure that things are right. I can't get her nor my ex in-laws to understand their daughter is not as perfect as they think they she is.

Anyway, that's all I'm plugging in for today.

life is boring

Without the kids, it's pretty much a long dragged out day. I miss them. Of course the only way to get a hold of them is via facebook or text. I love technology. It allows you stay in touch with your loved ones immediately, until the battery dies. Anyway, going out for sushi tonight and just chill. I need to save up for next week when I have the kids.

That's pretty much it for this weekend. Uneventful...

It's been a while...

I'm over at a friend's house doing laundry. I hate it sometimes, but it's the only way to survive when money is low. Laundry costs $2.25 per load. So when you have 3 loads a week, that's $6.75. That's over $25 a month. Sometimes I just have to make do. But laundry has to be washed. I don't have the kids this weekend and hanging out at my friend's house helps relieve the loneliness. It's a normal household. Kids are running around the house, my friend and his wife arguing, and it's quite a normal household family. It's good to be around them sometimes. Reminds me of my previous home. Their boys are like nephews to me. So whenever they need someone to watch them, I'm always available.

Anyway, luckily I only have two loads. Doing laundry here takes longer, but my clothes are cleaner. I'm almost done and after I fold and put them up, it's bed time.

Weekend with the kids...

Slept late last night since a friend of mine wanted me to baby sit for his two boys while he was out with his wife and friends. My daughter and I didn't get to bed until 2am. They were out late. My son on the other hand, was able to get to bed early. I took him home while Hayley watched over the boys and they were asleep. Anyway, it was a great time with the kids and the boys.

Saturday afternoon and I'm here at Borders with the kids. Benji wanted to go here instead of Barnes & Noble. The Wi-Fi hotspot is getting worse at Borders. It's always slow or sometimes, you can't even connect. and I'm the only one here with a laptop.

I felt bad this morning, because I only had 2 eggs and 1 strip of bacon. My son had them since he was hungrier. I opted for cereal. Hayley had Pop Tarts. I hate not having money when the kids are around. And I'm trying to figure out what to have for lunch and dinner tonight. One more week and I get to plead to the judge why I need to have my child support payments adjusted. And I hope it does for my benefit. There's just not enough money to go around. The economy is bad and my ex gets the majority of my paycheck and I'm still in arrears.

With so many "bad" dads out there that play the system, it's hard to survive for those dads who actually care about their kids. I just went to bankruptcy court this past week and I feel a little better since I don't owe these people any more money. But the child support payments must keep going. The system is created for the benefit of the women.

I'm ok with it for now. I just hope God can help me out. I need to start saving money for my kids' college fund and my daughter is on her second year in high school. I don't have that much time.

Well, it's almost time for me to drop Hayley off to the mall so she can meet some friends. I'm glad to have baby sat for my friend last night. He gave Hayley some money for the services we all did and I made sure that Benji had some, too.

Friday night without the kids

Well it's been a good night. Had a good 2 mile run after work, followed by cereal for supper then headed out to the local Barnes & Noble book store to catch up on CBS's new series Undercover Boss. Watched some previous episodes online thanks to Barnes & Noble and AT&T free Wi-Fi hot spot. Just finished watching the White Castle episode. When you're financially strapped it's hard to find things to do. Thanks to local bookstores that stays open late, you can read any books available and even use their Wi-Fi for free. It's great to take advantage of these things, so ever so often I'd buy something to help support and maintain these free amenities. A cup of joe is my usual purchase. $1.79 seems steep for a cup of coffee, but with free internet and the wisdom you gain from reading their books, it's not a bad deal. Don't get me wrong, I sometime buy some of the books that I will need in the future to reference. It's just better to purchase them after saving up for them. There are a lot of things you can do without spending money. Sometimes it's just better to have friends around, but sometimes it's better to just be in your own private cave.

Headed home and hopefully get a good night rest and be ready to work at a local computer store part time to earn some cash. To me it's really not about the money but the knowledge I learn working on computers. I didn't realize how easy it is to disassemble a laptop. And now I find myself sometimes taking apart my laptop thinking of adding a built-in camera.

That's all for tonight.

Weekend after the kids.

Well the weekend with the kids was short-lived. It's all good. We had a great time. Borders at night then helped with Cooks for Christ on Saturday afternoon. The great thing about it is the good feeling you get for helping feed the homeless, not to mention free dinner afterwards not to mention sampling the food while you fix it.

After the kids were picked up by their mom, I headed out to the bowling alley for the Singles group night. It was ok. I scored better than anyone else. Lots of nice people but overall a good experience.

That's pretty much it. I'm still trying to increase my financial IQ. I'm reading "The Richest Man in Babylon". I'm on chapter 5 and lots of interesting information.

When you get to this point in life, it's better to be constructive than destructive.

Rainy Friday

The day started out really nice. Then the storm came. Got soaking wet trying to fill up the tank at Kroger's this afternoon, even though there was a roof. It was raining sideways. Anyway, weekend with the kids and it's Borders night. We had Domino's Pizza for dinner and it's the best pizza I've ever had from them. Not to mention that they were having a 2 medium/2 topping for $5.99 each. Pizza has always been expensive until just recently when all the competing pizza names started their own $10.00 pizza for whatever topping you want. These days, the only way that company can have people to buy their product, is it's on sale. The economy is tough and you have to do anything to survive the economy. I started couponing. I found a site called Coupon Mom (www.couponmom.com). They email subscribers weekly coupon specials. They actually have some good deals every now and then. But sometimes, just buying the off brand can still save money.

Anyway, that's it for tonight. I need to finish up a book: The Richest Man in Babylon.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It's been a few days since my last blog. I had a great time last night with the kids, but spent too much money at the Oriental store. We all got a few snacks and shared different kinds of mochi. Texture feels like flesh in your mouth - Not that I've actually eaten real flesh, but it does. Anyway, we got home and watch the remaining last episodes of Lost. I didn't know the kids liked watching it. They said that they only watch it while at my place.

Last night's dinner was spaghetti but since I had some calamari left from lunch, my daughter tried it with some rice and she actually liked it. We took pictures of her eating the squid when it was about to enter into her mouth. It looked creepy since the tentacles were pretty clear.

Today I had to spend the early part of the day with my sales manager and it's always fun to bring him along. Didn't sell anything, but I got a free lunch out of it by taking a client out. After work, I thought I'd join a local singles softball league practice, but I got there a little late since I didn't know exactly where the field was located. I finally found the group, but it was getting dark, so practice was over quick. Now as I sit here at borders, this guy actually brought his own chicken dinner at the cafe area and surfing the web while he eats the chicken with his bare hands. I don't think I even saw him go to the restroom and wash his hands. He just took the box out of a grocery plastic bag and started munching. Incredible.

It was an uneventful day and after this blog, I think I'll finish up reading a book.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

After I got home last night, I finished up the laundry. Went to bed late after watching a few movies.

Today, I went to my part time job. It's really part time, because I work there every other Saturdays that I don't have the kids. I work at a computer store repairing computers to broaden up my horizon. I figure after learning this for about a year, maybe, just maybe I can start my own. I already know a little about desktop PCs but I have no knowledge fixing laptops. That's where the money is nowadays since everyone is on the go. It's very easy to break laptops since they are portable and they are made out of plastic. Unless people are wealthy enough to buy Kevlar-cased laptops that can drop from 3 storey building and it'll function just fine. Also since most are made of plastic, after taking it apart, it's hard to put back together again the same way when it was functional. Everything is attached together with adhesives and screws. The screws can be screwed back on, but the adhesive part is difficult to take apart. Anyway, it was a long day today and since I'm still in-training, I don't get paid. It's ok by me since I'm learning a lot, I get free lunch and it's unwasted, creative time spent.

Well that's all for today. Time to head to home and catch up on some movies and get a good night's rest.

Friday, March 5, 2010

It's Friday and I haven't posted anything all week. I'd probably blog more if I have internet at home. The great thing about having a laptop is that you can go to a free wi-fi establishment and enjoy the amenities that goes along with the unlimited cup of coffee. Buy a tall cup of coffee for $1.78 and you got yourself a warm cup of coffee, free internet, free electricity and meet new people.

Where do I start? Well, last night I took the kids and their maternal grandparents to the VIP premiere of the Broadway musical, Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Coat at The Miracle Theater starring American Idol finalist, Melinda Doolittle. It was an awesome show! Red carpet treatment, hors d'oeuvres, comp tickets and oh, did I mention the show was awesome? The drawback from all this was the drive time and how late it was. I feel bad for the kids, but it was once a lifetime and it was free. I take advantage of every little things like this because one, it doesn't cost me anything; two, it's time spent with the kids; and three it's something to add to their childhood memory with dad.

I miss the kids when I don't have them on weekends. I always find something to occupy my time. I try to do things that are constructive. Like tonight, after eating at my client's burger joint, I headed out to Borders to catch up on my reading. I'm on Chapter 10 of Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. In the last nine chapters I read, I notice that it's about thinking about your self and greed. He mentioned in his book that you need to pay your self first. That greed is good. I'm thinking, this totally goes against my Christian values. Then he ended Chapter 9 about the importance of giving to others. His "Rich Dad" mention that tithing is important and that when you give, it comes back to you tenfolds. Well, I'm paraphrasing. But you get my point.

I understand the importance of giving. I tithe what I get into my bank account. That's after the deductions and the child support. I think God understands my situation and he's helping me out. Not long ago, I went out to lunch with an old friend. She was telling me how it's a struggle in her business, and that she wish that she can tithe again. I was a little surprised. She drives a nice car and owns her own home and she's single. I'm thinking, she's headed for disaster.

I subscribe to the idea that if you don't tithe, you are robbing God. We are obligated to give him the Tithe. He said it in the Bible. I believe that God owes us nothing and that we owe him for giving us the opportunity to live life. Life is what you make of it. It's not what you get in life, but what you give back.

I donate about 4-6 hours of my time once a month helping feed the homeless. I go to the homeless shelter, help out in the kitchen cook, prepare, and serve the homeless in the community. Sometimes I bring the kids with me when it's the weekend I have them. I they enjoy it just as much as I do. It's time spent with them, free food, and it gives you a tingling feeling afterwards that you did something good that day.

Anyway, that's all for tonight.

It's Sunday and you have to say goodbye to the kids.

I had a really great time with my kids this weekend. Watched Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief with Benji Saturday afternoon while Hayley hung around with her friends at the mall. Then dinner at the food court. About the best money can buy is the Chicken Teriyaki you can buy from Sakkio. It's a lot of food for about $7 with a drink. After that, just hang out at Borders for their free internet. When you're paying child support and there's not enough money left to do with the kids, hanging out at the bookstore is probably the least expensive form of entertainment with your kids. If you have little ones, you can go to the kids section and read them books all day long and it's a good time spent with the kids. For teenagers and pre-teen like mine, you pretty much just let them roam around and allow them to find something they can buy with whatever allowance money they have, while I sit in a corner with my laptop and use their free Wi-Fi. This time, instead of getting online, I actually handed the laptop to my daughter so she can catch up with her facebook friends, while I read a book I found very interesting. The name of the book was Rich Dad, Poor Dad. It gave me a lot of insights about finance and the main difference between assets and liabilities. I just finished Chapter 5, the History of Taxes and the Power of Corporations. It really explains how the poor and the middle class stay the way they are and the rich become richer and richer. I'm rethinking more about my financial situation and not worry about making more money, but how to make my money work for me and to get out of this "Rat Race". I've been doing it all wrong, but I'm also on my way to being on track. I've been doing it the way every middle class has been doing and it's the wrong way. I'm looking at my life now, and being married is what got me into this "Rat Race". Now that I'm single, I have a new perspective in life. Not only on how I need to live it, but how my divorce, is my way out of this "Rat Race".

Well, I've got to finish up writing my report for my day job, and think of other ways to make money. After that would be laundry and then it's time to vegged out.

Anyway, I'll finish up the book later on. I had to work at the Expo Center today for Brides Day. Lots of brides, some with kids already; babies. Took the kids with me to that and they seem to have enjoyed themselves trying out the free foods from the caterers. My daughter got a lot of candies stashed and she got a free garment bag from Rarity Bay. She's very resourceful. I actually called my ex to see if she and her husband she married back in August in a simple ceremony, would like to go in and look at bride ideas. She said, her husband is sick, but she'll be picking up the kids there at the show.

I had to say good bye to my kids and I didn't feel as lonely as I have felt in the past. I was ok with it today. I suppose I was just anxious to get back to Borders to read my book, but I can't do that today, since I have a report due and I have laundry to do.

That's all my blog for today. Tomorrow I go back to the "Rat Race".

Friday, Feb 26, 2010

Life is grand. Weekend with the kids and Hayley has been entertaining while writing tonight's blog, to a point of annoying.

Work was a drag today. Client cancellation always brings the day down. Not only do you have to cancel the schedule, then you have to explain the boss, why pacing went down. It's all good. Getting a new contract from a client makes the day better. Hayley decided we should go to Barnes & Noble. I decided not to cook, since cooking usually makes me stink and if we had to go out, I have to get cleaned up afterwards, so tonight, dinner was Bojangles. $10 paid for the dinner.

Anyway, I just had to revise a client's website and we're done here. We need to go to Wal-Mart to get a few things. Time to get home and play some Animal Crossing.

Thursday evening

Busy day at work. It snowed this morning, but sunny the rest of the afternoon. Drove to Harriman, TN today, just for me to find out that the client decided to cancel the rest of his ad campaign. I'm ok with that. It was good to see and be able to talk to the client. He's a good man. Visited with another client to approve his TV spot and he seem unsure. Sometimes I just have to reassure clients and let them that their ad is good. Honestly, whether it's a good ad or a bad ad, you'll never know how it's gonna work until it airs and the public sees it. I'm not much of a talker, just a thinker and daydreamer, but I just don't understand people who has to be with someone to feel good about themselves. People don't understand how I could be content just being by myself and not having someone there to talk to. Well, I can call up any friends and talk for a few minutes and I'm done talking and I'm ready to just vegged out. I explain to people that I was married for 13 years and I'm just happy to have my freedom. Freedom from having to explain why I'm home late, freedom from having to tell someone that I have to go somewhere and can't be there for that person and freedom just to be left alone and not have to be told what needs to be done.

I actually enjoy this life, yes sometimes it sucks that there's no woman there beside you to cuddle up with and to fondle, but the drawback is having to listen to problems. I hear that everyday from clients. I don't want to have to listen to it at home. I tell people, that will come when my son turns 18 (my youngest). Until then, they are my responsibility and my focus in life. I just want to make my self available whenever they need me.

Besides, money is tight. Can't really impress a woman when you're broke. So I live a simple life and do the best I can with it. Life is tough, but someone has to live it.

Anyway, tomorrow will be a better day, I've got the kids for the weekend and I'm looking forward to spending time with my son while my daughter hangs out with her friends at the mall.

I called in sick yesterday and didn't feel like doing anything. Sleep was the only thing I could do yesterday. Ok, so I might have watch a couple of movies; Law Abiding Citizens and I can't remember what the other movie was. I'll be picking up the kids in a couple of hours and will be fixing spaghetti for dinner.

I don't have anything planned for the kids, other than dinner and watch TV. I just want to vegged out for tonight.

Sunday afternoon, Feb 21, 2010

Ok, so I've been meaning to keep a journal. I don't like my handwriting, but I actually enjoy typing. So today, I'm starting my blogs.

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm sitting in Barnes & Noble. It's a typical Sunday afternoon and I don't have my kids with me.

This morning, I really didn't feel like going to church. After using the bathroom, I laid down in bed again, but started to cough. So, I finally got up, I was thinking to myself; Okay Lord, I'm going to church this morning, but I'm not going to be in choir, since I've had a cold since Friday. I got ready, left the apartment and got to church at 9:58AM. It was a pretty good service, Pastor Herschel preached about Zacchaeus. A short man, who had to climbed a sycamore tree just so he can see Jesus. By the time Jesus got to Zacchaeus' sycamore tree, He tells him to hurry up and come down from the tree and tells him that He's staying at his house. Anyway, Pastor Herschel preached about, how 25% of the population is suffering from loneliness. Zacchaeus, must have been a lonely man. He was the chief tax-collector and he was wealthy and he was short. Evidently no one liked him that much. Anyway, I ended up going to choir anyway even though I wasn't feeling good. I ended up staying for the second service, too. Then I went home. I warmed up a couple of slices of pizza, watched Julie & Julia. I thought this movie was going to put me to sleep but instead, I watched the entire movie and inspired me even more to start this blog.

Blogs are meant to be short, but since I have so much on my mind, I'm getting way ahead of myself. I miss my kids and I've got a cold. I needed to get out of the apartment and just be around people. I don't like to talk, just like to be around crowd.

Anyway, now that I'm having a mental block, I think I'll stop here do something else.